Hello Hello, Hello
My absence deserves explanation.
I freaked out a little bit. This last month pulled me into a semi catatonic state. I did not feel like doing ANYTHING. Not because work became busier, or life became more demanding, or sickness forced me down. I was trying to live with the pause button pressed. I had gotten over the novelty of living in a new country and had yet to accept that this new place was really my home. My mind hadn't accepted that this Korean lifestyle was permanent. I have had so many distractions adapting to a new environment and working full time that I never fully mentally gave myself the space to move into Asia. I know it sounds strange, I mean, I knew I was going to be here for a year, but I hadn't really accepted that idea fully. I stopped cleaning my house, I stopped writing, I stopped going out on adventures into Seoul, and I really missed my friends, family, and lifestyle back home.
Then I was offered a promotion. But it would require me to stay another 6 months longer then anticipated. I took a few days to think about it but after some mental debate, I accepted it; with enthusiasm.
I finally started to realize that this is my home. This is where I live. This isn't a vacation. There is no thinking about doing this or changing that when I get back home. Its time to actually make friends, go to the gym, write everyday, decorate my house, fluff out my life a bit. I totally fell into the lonely tourist role. I was thinking short term. It took me a bit, I guess I thought I could escape these long drawn out (stupid) adjustment periods, but I guess not. Apparently not.
I joined the gym that I live right next to, put up a fabulously colorful doodle by yours truly on this one huge bare wall, bought a semi-nice fountain pen, warm boots, and I am going out this Thursday night for Ladies Night with some friends from the office.
I'm not coming home anytime soon.
except for that visit I have planned for May....
A Pause in Time
A pause in time
Is where I want to exist.
When the world around you is quite,
When the breeze lifts itself off the wave
Rolling into the shore and
Brushes up your face
Leaving your skin damp
Bringing to your soul
Memories of the endless ages and ancient times
On the bottoms of the seas.
That sinking sun
Into the ocean
Fills your eyes
And still without sight
You feel safe and warm
On the edge of reality
Fully immersed in the wildness of living.